So I told them I had binge eating disorder…

binge eating disorder help

Last night I met some of my girl friends out for dinner and drinks. We were all catching up when I told them, “I have some big news! I was contacted by a television show”. They all looked up at me with such puzzled looks before the, “Why were you contacted?” came out. Perhaps they thought I’d been contacted for being Mom of the Year 2012, kidding of course. Long story short, I could have sworn that I mentioned my binge eating disorder website to them before, but I guess I hadn’t.

So I started the whole story… I used to have this eating disorder called Binge Eating Disorder, went to therapy, then helped myself, wrote an eBook, have a website, and now I enjoy helping people. They were shocked. One of my friends even said, “Wow, and I thought I knew you!”

Another friend asked if I was talking about bulimia because she didn’t know what binge eating disorder was. I told her the difference and shared some of my past with her. No one had any idea.

And that’s the “thing” about binge eating disorder, it’s private. You don’t want people to know. It’s a secret and you want it to stay a secret. It can feel embarrassing to open up to people about the binges. So even though I haven’t binged in many years, it was strange opening up and feeling so vulnerable.

binge eating helpObviously, these are my friends and they aren’t going to judge me, but, I’ll admit it, I did wonder (for just a second) if they would think different about me. Then I came to my senses and realized that I was being ridiculous. Friends are friends and they love you for who you are. Period.

That night, when I got home, I started thinking about how different my life could have been if I would have opened up to friends while going through binge eating disorder. Maybe some of them would have been going through the same thing. Or maybe one would have been my “go to” girl when the times got tough and I wanted to binge. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so stuck, like there was no way out.  I’m sure I wouldn’t have suffered and struggled with food for so long.

So if there’s one thing you take away from this post, it’s this: Having someone you trust to talk to is really important. It’s a really big step towards the right direction. Your trusted person could be a friend, your grandmother, or a counselor. They don’t have to struggle with bingeing – just lend an ear so you can talk or a shoulder if you need one.

I walked away from my night out feeling really happy. Happy that I got to go out with my friends. Happy that I got to take off my “mom hat” and just be “Kristin” for the night. And happy that I opened up to my friends. It felt really good to be able to share what I’m doing with people that mean a lot to me.

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  1. lucy
    3 years ago

    I dont know kris, I mean you r right it is private. It became easy for you to share I think because you are over it. Telling a normal eater that you are an abnormal eater and explaining the riffs and raffs about how uncontrollable it can be is plain awkward and may I say dangerous, to a therapist yes I would do. They wont understand to them I would just be gluttenous and thats disgusting . I cant do it , i dont promise to do it .when Im over it , yes! Now , hell to the no! I still love u though and I know you feel me.

  2. Kristin Gerstley
    3 years ago

    @lucy – It is a bit easier telling people about binge eating disorder after overcoming it, but it’s still this private life back in my past and I would have been happy to never let out. If you don’t want to tell anyone right now – don’t. It’s your life and you need to do what’s right for you. The newsletter I’m sending out today has some old journals in it. In one of them, my best friend called and she didn’t even know. I get it, believe me, I do.

  3. Jen
    3 years ago

    First – you are beautiful. Second, you are tremendously strong. I could never at this point even imagine telling anyone. It’s so embarrassing to me. It’s like I’m a disgusting creature…who does that? Stays in and buys bags of junk food and binges on it? Only a “lonely, lame, pathetic, weird” girl…that’s what I think. That’s how I feel. Anti-social. Loser. Weak. Unhealthy. Addict. Weirdo….that’s what I think and feel. That’s me.

    But I feel, know, it’s not…but it’s whose taken over. I’ve lost the energy and fight because every day I give in again at the end of the day. I’m too afraid of the nothingness and I’m too tired to try to do other things. It’s too much. And every day I think it’s too late anyways. The summer is here – and 5 months ago, I said this would end…and here I am, almost half way through the year, summer around the corner and still disgusting, bloated and weak. I look awful and even if I stopped now – it’s too late. I’m too damaged. Yes, I can/will stop. But the effects will still be with my ravaged body…and mind.

    I also feel that this is something I’d want to write about one day – I have so much to say about it. But I’m afraid of being defined by it (if that makes sense). I don’t know if it’s something that I should carry with me – or just to let it go.

  4. Alvaro
    3 years ago

    You are incredibly awomsee and very inspiring. I wish I had your problem . Mine is the complete opposite. I want to write, really, I do. But it seems my life sure does get in the way most of the time. And the fact that writing a novel scares the hell out of me, especially since I don’t know the first thing about it. Maybe I need baby steps. But, you truly are my hero! I’m proud of you and admire you! Now, gimme some of your juju hehe!

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