A blog post from my husband who I first told that I had binge eating disorder

image of letter to wife who overcame binge eating disorder.

Hello.  My name is Rob and I’m Kristin’s husband.  Nice to meet all of you!

Kristin did not ask me to do this – this is something that I decided to do on my own because I’m so proud of her and how far she has come since her struggles with binge eating disorder. (She of course read this when she posted this to this blog.)

Almost everyday Kristin reads me emails that she received from people just like you.  She reads me emails of people who just found her End Binge Eating Now website and for the first time ever, see a glimmer of hope.  She reads me emails of people who read through her ebook and are now on a clear-cut path to overcoming binge eating disorder.  And she reads me emails from people who now live a life completely binge-free, because of Kristin’s ebook, blog posts, and support.

And many times as she reads me these emails, she has tears coming down her face.  More often times they are the tears of joy because she is helping others change their life for the better.  Helping others escape the prison that binge eating traps you in.  And helping others finally live the life they have always wanted to live – but didn’t know how to break free from the hold of an eating disorder.

I thought that it would be helpful to fill you in on what life was like before Kristin came to me a few years back, in tears, admitting to me that she had binge eating disorder.  This secret, as many of you know, was something that she kept from me for a few years.  And as you can imagine, there would be times when I wondered why things would go missing or be hidden in the pantry.

I didn’t think much of it at the time.  It never occurred to me that Kristin was living a private life that completely consumed her.  A private life that was so private that even the person she was living with, me, never really suspected anything.  Sure, for a few moments I’d wonder where an entire bag of unopened Doritos went that was just there the day before.  Or I’d wonder why the garbage would be empty and a new bag in place when I got up in the morning.  I appreciated her taking the garbage out, but there would be times that I had remembered that there wasn’t much in there the night before.

There was always little hints or signs, but being someone that had never heard of binge eating disorder before, I didn’t suspect a thing and never once sat down and thought about everything.  So the day that Kristin told me that she had binge eating disorder was the day that I found myself searching around on Google trying to figure what in the heck it was all about, I wondered if it was curable, and I wondered if she would have this forever.

I really knew nothing about it.  So like Kristin and many of you reading this, I decided to research.  And the more I researched, the more I began to see a potential way that one could truly overcome binge eating disorder forever.

My background is in business.  All types of businesses.  And many of them deal with very positive people – so I always had to keep my eye on the ball and head in the game when it came to personal development.  I knew that past events could linger in ones life and cause all sorts of problems internally and externally if not properly dealt with.  Some people turn to food.  Some drugs.  Some alcohol.  Some sex.  And some just bottle everything in and turn into a grumpy old man or woman no one wants to be around.

So I had a feeling that just like any other negative thing happening in ones life, that somehow the secret key to unlocking the cure for binge eating disorder would be in personal development, self-improvement, etc.

So I shared this information with Kristin and at the same time suggested she speak to someone to see if she can find the root on why she binged on food.  As a little time went on, she took my one idea and totally ran with it.

I watched her plow through books, websites, and anything else that she could get her hands on.  She began reading a lot of personal development books, journaling daily to squeeze out every last reason why she binged and what memories, happenings, non-happenings, resentment, discouragement, etc. that her mind may have tucked away years ago that was trigging these binges on a daily basis.

I cannot tell you what it’s like to be so in love with someone and watch them change into someone that you love even more.  I watched Kristin go through massive struggles, set-backs, beating herself up, wanting to give up dozens and dozens of times, but she kept pushing forward.  Overcoming binge eating is not easy – I’ve seen it first-hand.  But if you follow everything that Kristin says to do in her ebook – it works.  I’ve seen it work right in front of me and I’ve personally read countless emails Kristin has sent to me over the years from people that she’s helped end binge eating.

And over time, as Kristin began to regain her self-confidence, a beautiful, beautiful person began to emerge.  A woman filled with confidence, love, and it was like watching someone be completely transformed by some strange outside force.  The more she worked on herself, the more she began to release all of the subconscious triggers that would lead her to binge.

It didn’t happen overnight, but over time the urge to binge began to be replaced to workout, exercise, and eat healthy.  Kristin’s weight that she had gained at the height of her binge eating disorder began to fall off and yet again, I was amazed that my beautiful Kristin was becoming more and more beautiful by the day.  I mean come on, she was getting hotter and hotter!  There was no way that I was going to let this incredible woman go, so I asked her to marry me and the rest, as they say, is history.

What some of you don’t know is that I’m Kristin’s #1 fan.  I’ve helped her set up her websites, get everything in order, get this blog set up, and yes, I also read all of the comments.  It’s amazing to see people like YOU begin to get your life back on track.  I’m rooting for ALL of you!

As a side note, I do not see any of the emails that are sent to Kristin.  They go 100% to her.  I know she gets many emails a day… and every once in awhile she’ll share one with me that really touched her heart.  And it always touches mine because I’m witnessing something truly amazing.

My hat goes off to Kristin for 1,000 reasons.  For one, being so public about her battle with binge eating is to be commended.  But her drive and passion to help YOU overcome binge eating is what I love her so much for.  Her passion and dedication to help people see that there really is a way out of binge eating and a way to truly live the life you deserve is amazing to me.

There is NOT ONE doubt in my mind that Kristin is saving people’s lives.  Years and years of binge eating is not healthy and no doubt drastically shortens lifespans.  So by taking a tiny step forward right now is the best move anyone suffering from binge eating (or any eating disorder).

So I just wanted to publicly tell my beautiful wife Kristin that I 100% support you, I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve done and your drive and passion to help others end binge eating is amazing.  You are an inspiration to me, our son, and the thousands of people who come to your website.  I love you.

Kristin’s Husband

P.S… For any of you who find this website because you have a loved one who is struggling with binge eating disorder, the best thing in the world you can do is educate yourself and be there for them anytime that they need support. Remember, binge eating is a VERY private eating disorder, so it will take some time for them to build some trust in you. But keep at it and keep supporting those you love who are suffering because if they are willing to commit and work on it, they can overcome binge eating.

Leave A Reply (8 comments So Far)

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  1. Enlightened Up
    3 years ago

    I have never imagined there could be a man so understanding. I feel they would be repulsed.

    I’m just so worried it’s too late. I’ll never get my body back…I’m abused it so badly and I know the difference, I know what to do…but everyday I just give in again. I don’t deserve changes in my life until I get better. I’m moving in a month and it should be an exciting time but instead I see it as nondeserved and fearful – my body will rebel even more. I need a year just to get back to normal before I should even be moving or trying for a better life…

  2. Judged
    3 years ago

    I would be very interested in how the two of you dealt with this as a couple. It surprised me to find out, Kristin, that your boyfriend was the first person you told. When I finally got the courage to do that, he seemed to believe he had to be my drill sergeant after that, asking me what I ate that day when I got home, commenting if I didn’t go to the gym that day, etc. I have finally realised I needed to remove him from my life and things are getting better now; I have very supportive friends and a personal trainer who understands that diet/nutrition is a struggle for me. I finally know what you mean when you say the urges to binge start to become less frequent. I used to have them every day and now only a few times a week which are easier to overcome. I couldn’t have done it with my ex in my life because his approach felt to me as though he was piling on guilt and shame when there was already so much self-inflicted guilt and shame to overcome. Kristin, how did your husband deal with your struggle in a way that was supportive? Would you tell him when you slipped/binged and what was his reaction? For you, was it most helpful when he played the cheerleader, the drill sergeant, or the loving observer? More than anything, I am hoping to learn the positive way a partner can react when as you know, binge-eaters are very sensitive as it is.

    And to Enlightened Up, I would say you absolutely deserve to try for a better life, regardless of how you’ve treated your body. I needed to change my scenery in order to get better so maybe that will help you, too. Moving can be very liberating. I moved out on my own (away from my boyfriend) and for a while I was so excited no one was keeping tabs on me; I could eat whatever I wanted! But of course, I knew the end result would be to gain weight, dislike myself, and withdraw from life, which started to happen. I had been through some therapy like Kristin which laid some groundwork.

    Most importantly the psychologist helped me see that my binging urges have become so common they are now an absolute habit and to break a habit you need to “interrupt” your thought process. I also suffer from depression and the same “interruption” method helped with that, too. I started to practice pausing my binging urge by waiting and seeing if I still felt it after an hour – often times I didn’t; with more and more practice, this pause is easier to do. That was a good start, but it was when I moved out AND joined a gym with a personal trainer who focuses on nutrition, that I noticed a more consistent and reliable change in my mindset/urges/behavior.

    They tell me losing weight is 70% due to nutrition, 20% due to weight training and 10% due to cardio. I often got discouraged trying to accomplish these unrealistic cardio goals of 5 hours a week only to feel like a failure if I did only two. Of course feeling like a failure is a perfect binge trigger so to realise that I could get healthier by focusing first on my nutritional goals was eye-opening. I know how many carbs, fat, protein I can have in a day to lose my binge weight and by reading nutrition labels of EVERYTHING, I find it easier to say no to things in the grocery store. Reading labels is one habit that partially replaces the binge habit.

    Sorry to ramble on, but I haven’t posted before and wanted to share my experience as I know reading the stories of others has helped me tremendously.

  3. momof2
    3 years ago

    WOW–totally awesome post! You are blessed Kristin! Enlightened Up: Please don’t fret. We all have set backs…take baby steps. You do deserve to be happy and not fearful! (I’m preaching to myself too!). Hang in there!

  4. Pili Barzuna
    3 years ago

    Rob, you are an amazing man. Kristin is really lucky to have you beside her, supporting her in every way. It is true what you say at the end of your letter about supporting relatives. Besides binge eating, I have fibromyalgia and have been struggling with it for 14 years. It doesn’t let me live normally, since I cannot workout as other people do or work all day long or even go to the beach for the day. And my husband and children look at me and see an apparently healthy slightly overweight woman and they think it is just me looking for some attention- But I can assure you it is not.
    It is a blessing having people like you right there to help and support you. Both of you are doing an amazing job helping us around the world. And if you ever get the chance to come to Costa Rica, please make sure to let me know! God bless you.

  5. marisa
    3 years ago

    To enlightened up!
    For starters, stop saying you are NOT deserving because that’s what your putting out there to the universe.You GET what you GIVE. Believe me I have been there for so long in my past saying I wasn’t deserving, or capable, or worthy of doing better. I have had bulimia for 2+ years and I haven’t thrown up for 3 months now. I now have binge eating disorder but I have worked hard on myself from the inside out and it has drastically reduced. My life isn’t consumed with food anymore. I have found out a lot about myself since I have been committed to overcoming this disorder and I would and still do sometimes listen to that voice saying i’m not good enough or deserving. Who am I to achieve this, i’m nobody, no one cares about me. You are so much better then that little ego voice in your head. You ARE deserving! You ARE beautiful. You ARE sooooooooo worthy of feeling good. You ARE Gods child and he loves you even if you cant right now and I love you to!
    I started with baby steps and I found that is the best way to go. I started everyone morning with an affirmation. I wrote down something that I wanted to bring into my life and said it first thing when I got up every morning and every time I remembered throughout the day to read it. You can do this, I believe in you so much! Baby steps! It isn’t overwhelming if you do things in baby steps!
    Love & Light

  6. Sue
    3 years ago

    Thank you for sharing so candidly. I am battling every day with this disorder and I have purchased Kirstens book. I hope it works for me the way it has in your lives. I am so grateful for the honesty I have found here. Thank you.

  7. Kristin's Husband
    3 years ago

    Enlightened Up…. I’m not an expert like Kristin, but I do remember that there will be several ‘false starts’ before getting back on track. Change doesn’t happen over night, it is a process all must go through. Like Kristin talks about, it’s so important to celebrate the small victories. Whether it’s not binging one time where you normally would have, starting to walk for 15-30 minutes a day, reading a self-help book instead of watching TV and snacking, etc. Your year starts today – don’t put off life for a year to get to what you feel is back to normal. Normal is just a bucket full of choices that you make daily. To begin to feel normal, start making those small changes in your life. Don’t try to go all-in and make a ton of changes all at once. Your body and mind will resist it much like the millions of people who join a gym in January and end up going 3-4 times and quit. Small changes are key – but recognizing those changes and feeling proud and good about yourself for making those changes is what is so important to rebuild your self-esteem and love for yourself.

    Judged…. As far as how we dealt with this as a couple, I just tried to be the most supportive person in Kristin’s life. I was always there to listen, never to judge. I provided support anytime she needed it and provided a lot of encouragement. Nothing happens overnight. It took time for Kristin to begin believing in herself again and eventually love herself again. In the end, I took the time to learn about binge eating disorder and what one goes through so I could provide better support. I think the most important thing that anyone can do when one learns that someone they love is struggling with binge eating is to get educated and then be there to support and root them on.

    To all… You’re welcome. I’m glad that my post was helpful. I know many of you are just starting your journey and talking to someone you know about binge eating disorder is the absolute last thing that you want to do. You don’t have to run out and tell them today or even tomorrow. But at some point, you’ll need to confide in someone because that added layer of support is very important. It also helps you stay accountable.

  8. k
    3 years ago

    Absolutely wonderful!!!
    Thank you sooo much for posting that!!!
    Really, it is so nice to hear of such a supportive relationship!

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